Our Journey To Zero - Blog

What's your 0.2?

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 04:43:48 -0600

Runners of the Twin Cities Marathon pass mile marker 26, take a gentle left, and find themselves at the top of a steady decent. The eyes are instantly drawn to the golden dome of the Minnesota State Capital building in the distance sparkling in the sunlight. A gigantic American Flag is suspended high above the road from two hook and ladder fire trucks. The finish line stands between the flag and the capital, the digital clock counting the hours, minutes, and seconds that have elapsed since the starting gun fired earlier in the morning. You don't notice the people at first, but you can hear them. Chanting, cheering, encouraging everyone that runs by. From the bottom of the hill all the way to the finish line, the street is lined with hundreds, maybe thousands of people. As you begin your decent down the hill on that stretch of John Ireland Boulevard, the pain in your legs disappears, the doubt in your mind melts away. The cheers get louder, your pace gets faster.

And then there it is. There's the feeling I've been waiting for. An overwhelming flood of emotions. Joy, pain, pride, and accomplishment all rolled into one.

I feel....invincible.

The course widens at the bottom of the hill and the marathoners spread out. Runners pump their fists in the air, some run to either side of the road slapping high fives with random people in the crowd. The air is alive with positive energy, as those struggling to reach the finish line are encouraged by crowd members and fellow runners. Photographers are squatting in the middle of the road taking pictures of all the finishers.

It took me less than two minutes to run that final 0.2 miles, but it will be etched into my soul for eternity. The sun beating down on my back, the sounds of footsteps all around me, the voice yelling, “Finish STRONG 3283!”

It is one of those moments that you are aware something special is happening to you, and you just know to enjoy every precious second. It is one of those very rare events of your life when you experience a dream give birth into reality. I had tried to make it here several times, but had failed. Improper training and ignorance had led to injury. But on this day, I had made it, and this 0.2 was mine.

That was 2003. Nine years later, I am again training for the Twin Cities marathon scheduled for October 7th. It is the memory of the 0.2 that drives me every day. It drives me to become faster, to train harder in the hope that I will be able to relive that moment. It gives me strength to get out of bed in the darkness of 4:30am to complete my training for the day before anyone else in my house gets up.

Everyone needs a 0.2. A reason to keep their eye on accomplishing a goal, whatever that goal may be. A motivation to keep pushing through adversity and keep going no matter what.

What's your 0.2?

You can follow along with me as I train for the 2012 Twin Cities Marathon through my Facebook Page: Training for the 0.2.

Operation Giveaway: ImpulseSave!

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 07:00:20 -0600

Update: 3/9/2012

This giveaway has expired - Thank you to everyone who entered! If you are one of the lucky 10 who won an invitation, you will be notified via email shortly.

I am SUPER excited to announce my very first give away in a partnership with ImpulseSave! ImpulseSave is an awesome new tool that makes saving as easy and rewarding as spending.

ImpulseSave is a private saving site on a mission to turn your impulse-buys into ImpulseSaves! They haven't officially launched yet, so people can use their product by invitation only. The good news is that my friends over at ImpulseSave have given me 10 invitations to give out to my readers!

Here is a video explaining how the product works:

This tool can help you save money to pay off debt, or for that special something you've had your eye on. So, if you want to be one of the 10 readers who get invites, enter now! I've received an invitation too, so I'll be using the tool right along with you!

The contest is open now, but closes at 10:00am CST tomorrow, March 9th. Winners will be announced via email. All you have to do is click the pig below, and enter your email address....it's THAT simple! As an added bonus, when you enter you're also making sure you'll never miss an update from Our Journey To Zero as I'll add you to my email list. Even if you aren't one of the winners, ImpulseSave will be offering other ways to get you in the door, or at least get to the top of the waiting list when they do officially launch.

So, what are you waiting for? You only have until 10:00am CST tomorrow, March 9th to enter, so click on the pig already!

Click the Pig To Enter Now!

*Please note: this giveaway is open to US account holders only. We're bummed too but don't worry we'll be helping you save someday soon!

** The preceding is a sponsored post.

What's Stopping Me From Being Completely Happy?

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 07:56:04 -0600

I recently had a conversation with Brad Chaffee from Enemy of Debt about our struggles to meet our fitness goals. Brad made the comment that he asked himself if he was doing everything he could do to accomplish his weight loss and fitness goals.

The answer was “No.”

This conversation with Brad caused me to reflect deeply upon my own life. Right now, I have two major goals that I believe would go a long way towards reaching a state of true happiness: My health and fitness, and my family's finances.

I thought about my own fitness goals, and realized that although I have been kicking some serious butt in the gym, I've been using that to justify not paying much attention to what I was eating. I have lofty goals in regards to running the Twin Cities Marathon in October of this year. But in order to do so, I have to be lean and mean. The quantity, and quality of things I have been eating are not conducive to reaching those goals.

I searched for what was stopping me from being in the best physical health I can be. My grocery store surely carries healthy foods, and I certainly have the funds to purchase them. Nobody is forcing the poor quality foods into my body, I'm simply making bad choices when it comes to my diet each and every day.

From there I took it a step further. I asked myself if I'm doing everything I could with my money to achieve the financial goals that I have. Vonnie and I have been taking steps to increase the funds we have available by finding ways to cut our monthly costs and increase our income. However, the story is not quite the same in the entertainment spending portion of the program.

In a perfect world, we would :

Know exactly the amount of entertainment funds we have available for the next two weeks after paying our bill
Plan the majority of our spending for the week (with some “slush” for unplanned activity)Be saving money from each two week period into our emergency fund
Discuss the above with each other and make sure we are on the same page and have the same expectations

Are we doing these things?

Not all the time. Sometimes I plan individually what I think the weekly expenditures are and have every intention of having the discussion with Vonnie to get her thoughts, and get us on the same page. But then life gets busy, and before I know it the weekend comes and we have very different ideas as to how we are going to spend our money.

Operating this way will not lead to us achieving our financial goals, instead, it leads to overspending, under saving, and undue stress on our relationship because we didn't take the time to discuss our finances.

Again searching for the reason for failure, I found the answer was the same. Our income is sufficient, there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to accomplish all of things in the list above. I'm the one who continues to not be 100% consistent in driving budget discussions with my wife in order to keep our finances on track. I use the excuse that I'm too busy (I even used it a few paragraphs ago!) to have the discussions, but that's nothing but a bad choice with respect to priorities.

Identifying the problem is as easy as looking in the mirror. Nobody is forcing unhealthy food into my pie hole, I'm just simply making the choice to do so. Nobody is preventing me from making my finances a priority, I'm just simply making choice not to do so.

I need to stop making bad choices and eat healthy. I will be healthier, happier, and on my way to achieving a great marathon time and my overall fitness goals.

I need to make my finances a priority. Our finances will be on a better path, and my relationship with my wife will become even better than it is now.

When I accomplish these two things, I will look into that mirror and not see the problem, I will instead see the solution.

Do You Remember?

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:53:51 -0600

Preface: Over the last few months, a good friend of mine had been battling depression as he worked through several major life issues. Unfortunately, last Tuesday the depression overcame him and he took his own life. I had the bittersweet privilege of speaking at his funeral, and I would like to share his memory here.

If you know anyone who may be battling depression, get him or her help immediately. Do not question if you are doing the right thing - you are. Do not think you can help them yourself - you can't. Depression is a mental illness that requires professional help in addition to an everyday support system.

Do you remember the day we met?

Your family had recently moved into the neighborhood and came to the National Night Out event Vonnie and I were hosting. Our wives connected, and the four of us went out a few times. You seemed like a nice enough guy but you sure didn't say much.

Do you remember how a few weeks later Jess and Vonnie bought tickets for us to take Tyler and Tristan to Monster Jam?

To tell you the truth, I wasn't crazy about the thought of spending a long day with someone I didn't know very well. I was worried about what we would even talk about as I didn't think we had much in common. You were a construction manger, a guy with every tool imaginable. I'm lucky if I can find a screwdriver in my house on most days.

But do you remember how we watched one of the trucks blow up it's engine in a brilliant display of smoke and fire? Do you remember how all four of us screamed in awe? We went to several more Monster Jams in the following years, but that first one was my favorite.

Do you remember how our families bonded quickly and soon we were planning to join you on vacation in Florida?

You were our personal tour guide through Disney World, as we learned that we both enjoyed roller coasters. We also found that we both enjoyed annoying our wives by making the horn blow on our rental cars by constantly hitting the “lock” button.

Do you remember all the cook outs we had?

We even bought the same charcoal grill. It always made me feel good for you to tell me how much you liked my food. When we were at your house, you'd always ask me for advice as you manned the grill - even though we both knew that you could grill a steak to perfection without my or anyone else's help.

You always had that hard outer shell, rarely letting anything and anyone in or out. But every once in a while you'd let us see a glimpse of that warm and caring inside.

Do you remember the day you asked me what was wrong with the door knob on my front door? It didn't work quite right, and I told you it hadn't been replaced because there always seemed to be something more important that I needed to spend my money on. You disappeared for about 20 minutes, returning with a new set of locks and knobs for our house and quickly went to work to install them.

In recent months, when you looked in the mirror, you could only see who you were not. But I will remember you only for who you were.

You were the friend that spent an entire Saturday helping us paint the main floor of our house. You were the friend that helped me build my smoker. You were the man with the million dollar smile, and loved to make Vonnie find the word gullible written on the ceiling.

I remember, Tom. I will always remember.

I'm thankful that you were a part of my life, and I'm a better man because of it.

Goodbye friend, I love you, and I miss you.

Fitness Accountability - 2/4/2012

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:59:29 -0600

I'm Back!

I haven't done a fitness accountability for quite awhile, but that doesn't mean I haven't been working hard! I've been hitting the gym 5-7 times a week, and even raising the intensity of my workouts.

I will mention that I've been concentrating a lot of energy on strength training, thus I've been gaining muscle – which will certainly show in the weigh in this morning. I suspect most of the weight (but not all) I've put on is indeed muscle, because my clothes fit almost exactly the same as they did a few months ago, with the exception of my shirts being a bit tighter because my upper body has gained bulk. Going forward, I must put an increased focus on cardio (which I have started this week)

The reason is, on Thursday I registered for the Twin Cities Marathon. The race will be held on Sunday, October 7th, and I've set a goal for myself to finish in 3 hours and 30 minutes. This will improve upon my personal best by 34 minutes, and if I want to have any chance of accomplishing this goal, I need to get lean.

My wife, Vonnie, has also hit a critical point with her fitness level where she is ready to get back on the fitness horse. Her and I will be tracking Weight Watchers points together, using the material that we had from a few years ago when we were enrolled in their program. Additionally, Brad (@enemyofdebt) and I have started exchanging daily food journals to keep each other on track. Between these two things, I'm confident I can keep my eating right where i want it!

Weight Check:

Weight: 196.2
Weight goal: 178

Workout Summary:

Sunday: 5 Mile run
Monday: 3 mile run / chest, bicep, tricep, core strength training
Tuesday: Spinning / legs, back, shoulder strength training
Wednesday: Intermediate run: 8 miles
Thursday: Spinning / chest, bicep, tricep strength training
Friday: 5 mile run / legs, back, shoulders, core strength training
Bonus workout: 15 Miles on stationary bike
Saturday: Long Run: 10 mile run

Motivational Song of the Week:

My motivational song of the week is “Blackout” by Breathe Carolina. My spinning instructor used this as the “lead off” song for class a couple times, and even though I'm mainly a hard rock guy, it really inspired me. It's actually about drinking too much, but the great thing about music is you can take the lyrics of a song and apply them to your own personal situation.

I'm only getting started:

Pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I've been rockin' the gym hard since January 2011. This is the longest I've been on continuous fitness kick in my life. I feel great and I'm in the best shape of my life. But I'm just getting warmed up – with a marathon to run in October of this year, I've got a lot of work to do.

Let's go a little harder, I'm on fire:

If I want to reach my goal time when I run the marathon, I need to raise the intensity of my cardio. But I still want to work on my strength training too. I'm going to have push hard to do both. I may be in the best shape of my life, but I want more!

This won't stop, 'till I say so:

I'm addicted to the effects that working out have on my body and mind. I make each workout count, and make exercise a priority each and every day. Nobody is going to tell me otherwise.

Goals for next week:

Push long run to 11 miles
Finally start tracking food intake
Update my "Quest to Make the Wii Fit Stop Calling me Fat" to be an overall fitness tracking page that includes weight tracking, current workout routines, and a weekly running log.

What's a Dell? It's a Vacation Destination!

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:47:31 -0600

If You Like Pina Coladas......go ahead, sing along!

Do you remember this popular children's nursery rhyme?

The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho, the derry-o
The farmer in the dell

Did you ever wonder just what a “dell” is? I know I did, but as a child I never asked. But thanks to the power of Wikipedia, I now know that a dell is a small wooded valley. I thought it was necessary to know what exactly a dell was since my family and I had been planning a mini-vacation to one since the end of last summer.

Wisconsin Dells is a small town in south-central Wisconsin near the Wisconsin River which is a popular tourist destination in the Midwest. During the summer time, there are boat tours along the scenic river, in addition to outdoor water and amusement parks. The outdoor attractions are obviously closed in winter, however many of the major hotels have elaborate indoor water parks which makes Wisconsin Dells a perfect off-season, not so far from home, vacation spot to forget about the snow and the cold.

Pointing the mini-van east, we traveled a mere two and a half hours along Interstate 90, making travel costs less than a tank of gas. Being away from home for 3 days can be expensive, regardless of where you are. Therefore, we did several things to keep the costs at a minimum, and the fun at a maximum.

Charlie's Angels getting ready for laser tag

The More the Merrier

Our mini-vacation was actually a neighborhood event. 5 families for a total of 19 people went on the trip. We scored a sweet condo at one of the hotels which included the following amenities:

5 bedrooms/5 bathrooms
Full kitchen
Bar
Game table
Pool table
Entertainment area with flat screen tv, theater seating, and hookup for game systems
Admission into the hotel's water park

For all of this, we paid $140 per family per night (taxes included). Which isn't super cheap if we were talking about just a hotel room, but given everything that was included, it was well worth it!. Looking at the hotel website, the weekday rate for a standard room is $129.99 before taxes. For essentially the same price as each family paying for an individual room, we got a much larger space, and many “extras” with the condo.

Timing is Everything

Hotel rooms are always cheaper during the week. The price of this particular condo almost doubles on the weekend. Since our kids do very well academically, we felt comfortable pulling them out of school for the vacation. We talked with their teachers weeks ahead of time, and they both had all their homework completed and turned in prior to leaving for the trip.

Use the Facilities as Much as Possible

Admission to the water park is $34 per person, per day, but is included in the price of the accommodations as long as we're staying at the hotel. The hotel also boasts an indoor amusement park complete with go-karts, laser tag, rope jungle, and a climbing wall. This cost us an additional $20 per person, but the ticket was good for the length of our stay. We went to both parks every day we were there.

Justin Bieber sighting on the go-karts? Nah, it's just Tristan.

Bring Your Own Entertainment

After a full day of water and amusement park action, we hit the game table at the condo playing any number of games that we brought with us. My son also brought his xbox which we connected to the flat screen for the kids to play.

Cook Your Own Food

Since we had a full kitchen, we decided to cook most of our own food. I volunteered to cook breakfast each day, and we asked each family to supply one meal for the entire group. Here's the menu of what we ate during our stay:

Tuesday Dinner: We decided as a group we were going to go out to eat during our trip planing. We did have a 10% off coupon courtesy of a blogger friend who visited The Dells earlier this year. For a group of 19 people, that coupon saved us a significant amount of money!
Wednesday Breakfast: Made to order breakfast (omelets, sausage, bacon, toast, eggs)
Wednesday Lunch: Pizza purchased at water park
Wednesday Dinner: Tacos
Thursday Breakfast: Cinnamon and chocolate chip pancakes
Thursday Lunch: Tortellini Vegetable soup and salad
Thursday Dinner: Roasted turkey breast, mashed potatoes, garlic bread
Friday Breakfast: Cereal and cinnamon rolls
Friday Lunch: Pizza and sandwiches purchased at water park
Friday Dinner: Back at home, but had lasagna at a neighbors house for vacation wrap up.

Is my daughter small, or is that just a HUGE tootsie pop?

Out of ten meals over four days, we cooked seven of them. The most inexpensive meal was hands down the pancake breakfast. All I needed was a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup in addition to the cinnamon and chocolate chips I had in my cupboard at home. The supplies for this meal cost me less than $7 out of pocket.

It was a fantastic vacation, and we all had a blast. I was skeptical at first, but renting the condo at the hotel turned out to be a fantastic idea. Each family had their own bedroom/bathroom, we had a kitchen to cook meals, and we had the amenities for entertaining ourselves in the evening. The water park had great rides (including one in which people can body board or surf indoors), and doing laser tag as a group was unforgettable. We'll definitely consider going back.

The next time we need to break up the cold and wintery months, we may just bust into a verse or two of that familiar nursery rhyme, and head for “The Dells.”

Blog Reboot

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:52:39 -0600

Confession time. I haven't been excited to write a post here for a long time. One night last week as I was trying to fall asleep I was pondering why that was, I realized that I have completely gone astray from why I started this blog in the first place.

Somewhere along the way I became consumed with traffic hits, comment volume, and alexa ranking the way many people in debt are obsessed with their credit score.

To keep that Alexa ranking moving in the right direction, I needed to post several times a week. So, I started writing more frequently. When I had trouble coming up with subject matter for multiple posts each week, I started posting about my weight loss journey just to kick out an extra article. The Quest To Make the Wii Fit Stop Calling Me Fat was never supposed to wander outside it's own page on the site.

I found myself always rushing to get the next post ready. Continuously being disappointed when I could never seem to find enough time to create as many posts as I thought I needed to. I wasn't looking forward to writing anymore. Sometimes a finished post would be something I was proud of, much of the time it was not.

Our Journey To Zero was never supposed to be about spending a significant amount of time writing. It was supposed to be a supplement to my posts in the CareOne Community. It was supposed to be my own little corner of the universe where I could have complete freedom to experiment with my writing when I had something additional I wanted to say.

I always said that when writing stopped being fun, I would quit. It hasn't been very fun lately. I even told some people that this post would announce that I would be shutting this site down.

I'm not going to, but I am making significant changes:

I'm withdrawing from the Yakezie Challenge. I have the utmost respect for the Yakezie network. It just isn't inline with my goals for this blog at this time.
I will post here only when I have something additional to say outside my weekly posts in the CareOne Community, and my bi-monthly posts on Enemy Of Debt. I may not post often, but when I do, it will be something I'm proud of.
I will continue to document my weekly weight progress, on the “Quest to Make the Wii Fit Call Me Fat” page. However, the actual text of my fitness journey will be posted with other weight loss stories on Brad Chaffee's Enemy of Fat site.

I don't regret my path with this blog, as it has helped me shape my voice within the blogosphere. This blog isn't about alexa rankings or trying to get the attention of advertisers. It's about the sharing of experiences, and hopefully helping someone else in the smallest way cope with their own struggle with debt.

Having relieved myself of the unnecessary pressure of making this blog something I never intended it to be, I am again excited about writing, and sharing my story with you. So don't unsubscribe, don't stop visiting Our Journey To Zero.

I'll see you real soon.

Rock The Vote!

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 07:03:11 -0600

My friends over at ImpulseSave are hosting a blogging contest called Turkey Talks. Entries were to talk about a person's money story, and why you were glad you went through it. Three lucky bloggers will get a $500 blogging contract, and you can help me by voting for my entry! My entry talked about the unexpected gift that I've received through my journey to zero credit card debt. If you haven't read it, here's a taste of

I'm currently sitting at the halfway point through a 5 year debt management program to eliminate nearly 110K of credit card debt. It's been almost one year since I first logged onto Twitter, which I did in an attempt to increase visibility to my blog posts. Additionally, I thought, if I could find some other blogs to read, and learn some financial tips to help me in my own life, that wouldn't be a bad thing either. However, somewhere along the way through my interactions on Twitter I've gained something very unexpected......

You can read the full article here, and then click on the link at the top of the article to vote for it.

Or, if you've read the article already, you can just click here to vote!

I really appreciate all your support, now go and exercise your right to vote and rock that clicker!

Fitness Accountability - 11/19

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 09:53:16 -0600

The Weigh In:

Weight: 189.8
Weekly change: -0.7
Loss YTD: -26.2
Goal: 178.0

Goal check in:

Work out every day:

Worked out 6 days

Sunday: 6 mile run
Monday: 5mile run / chest, bicep, tricep strength training
Tuesday: Spinning / legs, back, shoulders, core strength training
Wednesday: 8 mile run
Thursday: Spinning / chest, bicep, tricep strength training
Friday: 4 mile run / legs, back, shoulders, core strength training
Saturday: Busy getting ready for visitors

No eating after 8pm:
I accomplished this 5 days!

Keep Food Journal and adhere to Weight Watchers Points:
Still couldn't get this going. Fail.

Analysis:

I'm happy to see that my weight is down a little bit, however looking at the last 3 weeks, I think what it's telling me is that my weight is staying relatively the same. Fluctuations of under a pound up or down doesn't really mean much unless it it consistently goes in the same direction.

I've found that it's very difficult to motivate myself to keep a food journal by myself. The times where I've successfully done this was when my wife and I have done it together. Fortunately, out of the blue Vonnie said that after this week she wants to really get back on the fitness train as well – including keeping a food journal. So, I'm suspending that goal for a week, and will re-evaluate next week when Vonnie and I are planning on doing it together!

That being said, I did pay much more attention to what I ate this week, and I think between that and my high level of exercise my body finally reached a state where it had no choice but to lose weight.

This next week is going to be very hard. Between Thanksgiving, and the fact that our good friends that moved to Kentucky are coming to visit this week, staying motivated to eat right and maintain my exercise routine is going to be extremely difficult.

Goals for next week:

Maintain exercise routine of working out every day (this is going to be tough)
Increase chest press ending set max to 245lbs.
I can't even come up with a tangible goal for keeping my eating under control. I'm going to be very mindful of portion sizes, and not going back for seconds.

Do you have any suggestions on how to ensure you eat well when you're thrown off your routine?

Live How You Cook

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 07:31:35 -0600

Preface: The following article is another repost from Hanuiloa, a blog geared towards slow living. I recently heard Jeff and Gena, my friends from Hawaii, who are expecting the arrival of their baby boy any day! This was my very first guest post, and is still one of my favorite posts that I've ever written. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Pajamas on, teeth brushed, prayers said and out goes the light. Kids are finally in bed. As soon as his wife retires for the evening a man grabs some papers he had hurriedly stashed in a rarely used kitchen drawer earlier in the day and heads downstairs to his computer desk to study them more closely. Each letter, five in all, was from the same source, each exactly the same except for the account number. A change in policy was increasing the monthly payment of this account from 1% of the balance to 2.5% said each letter. Calculations are made to determine what the new monthly payments will be. The family's budget is checked, and rechecked. The man cradles his head with his hands and closes his eyes. Falling tears begin to wet the papers on the desk.

The man in the story is me, and this is the exact moment in June of 2009 that I realized that fourteen years of irresponsible financial living had finally caught up with my wife and I. Almost a full decade and a half of living far beyond our means by supplementing our income with credit cards had brought us to the edge of financial ruin. The next two weeks were a whirlwind of bank (dis)appointments, extremely honest discussions with my wife, and varying states of terror. When it was all said and done, we were enrolled in a debt management program and hopeful that we were on the right path. In order to hold together what we had, we knew that we had to seriously downsize our lives. No more buying things to make us feel better, or as rewards for the kids for doing something well. We needed to de-emphasize material things, and start simply enjoying spending time together and really connecting as a family.

I am the household cook and absolutely love to prepare food. As a former short order cook when I was in high school, an aspiring BBQer and an avid van of cooking reality shows, I know there there are many different techniques and environments in which to cook. Two of which I am extremely familiar.

First, there's the life of a short order cook at a local diner. As church services let out on Sunday morning you could see the steady stream of cars coming down main street and pulling into the parking lot. Suddenly, the kitchen would erupt into a frenzy of frying bacon, cracking eggshells and clanking plates. The three cooks on duty would be frantically running around trying to keep up with the flood of orders coming in. When the rush had ended, the kitchen would be wiped down and mopped. We would collapse in the break room; our heads still spinning.

On the other hand, you can cook like a backyard BBQer. I'm not talking about firing up the grill and throwing on some burgers and hot dogs. I'm talking about a hickory wood burnin', slow roastin', pork shoulder cookin' smoker. There's nothing “hurry up” about this process. The smoker gets fired up mid morning, and cooking a pork shoulder takes all day. The BBQer sits reclined in a lawn chair next to his smoker just soaking up the sun and the view off his backyard. On one side of his chair sits a pile of charcoal and wood, on the other a cooler filled with his favorite beer. A good smoker will hold it's temperature for a long time without having to feed it more fuel. He doesn't have to sit there, but he'll never admit it. Where would he rather be than basking in the smell of smouldering wood and roasting pork? There's no timetable as to when the mass of meat will be done. Each piece of meat is different. If you ask a seasoned BBQer how long the process will take, he'll shrug his shoulders and answer, “It's done when it's done.” Cook by temperature, not by time. The clock doesn't dictate meal time, the meat does.

As the chef of your own life, which environment would you prefer? Would you rather hurry through life in such a frenzied state that you eventually collapse in exhaustion wondering where the time went? Or would you rather be soaking up the experience in your lawn chair enjoying the view?

We used to live like the short order cook. Many weekends we would have plans out of town. If we weren't going somewhere we were inviting our group of friends and neighbors over for a party. If we weren't driving somewhere on Saturday afternoon, we were in the kitchen for hours prepping for a huge dinner party.

I remember a particular Sunday afternoon when one our closest friends was over and my daughter was being rather rude. When asked what was the matter, my (at the time) seven-year-old daughter told our guest in a quite matter-of-fact tone that she was sick of her being at our house all the time. Not a shining example of good behavior, but it was an experience that was raised and discussed again as we were making changes in our lives. That our normally very well behaved daughter could act out in such a manner was certainly a cry for more quality family time. As we looked back, our kids were telling us in many ways, for a long time that they were unhappy with this fast paced, activity packed lifestyle.

We still get together with our friends, but not nearly as often. Just as frequently we have family movie night on the weekend. The kids pick out a movie, we make some popcorn and all sit on the couch and watch the show just the four of us. Instead of hurriedly packing the van to go somewhere on Saturday morning, we all sleep in. Even though my son is only a year away from being a teenager, he hasn't became too cool to run into our room with his sister and jump in bed with mom and dad for a “family snuggle.” My son and I play catch with a baseball or football when it's nice out, and dig snow tunnels when it's winter. My daughter and I curl up and read every night as I tuck her in, and again every morning when she wakes up. She has taken an interest in this blogging thing that I do, and asked if she could make her own website. I gave her one of those “Sure, we'll do that sometime,” kind of answers thinking eventually she'd forget about it. I completely misjudged that, as she badgered me until I caved in (she got her persistence from her mother). We're having the time of our lives putting together her website using a free of charge web building site.

Note that the most expensive activity in the proceeding paragraph is the renting of a movie from redbox for $1.

Over the last 19 months I've learned that there is absolutely nobody that I would rather spend time with than my family. I have re-learned why I fell in love with my wife. My son has my love for video games, science fiction, and sports. My daughter has a sense of humor and a creative side that convinces me that she will almost certainly end up on TV, or a stage somewhere.

I genuinely look forward to the weekends now. I can't wait to have two full days to spend with my family. I'm finally sitting in that lawn chair, enjoying the view. Pull up a chair, join me, and grab a beverage from the cooler – this is going to take all day.

I don't mind, there's nowhere I'd rather be.